Bearing the Weight of Others' Burdens
In my time as a reverend, I have learned the hard way how impatience can make connecting to others much more difficult. I have always considered myself to be patient, but when you’re first starting out, you encounter differences—and sometimes very stark differences—with others. It can be very easy to write someone off because of the vast chasm each others’ differences can make, but as a reverend, I would be remiss to ignore anyone in need. So, I have had to learn to put myself aside to allow God to come into the situation.
My duty is to support anyone in need and to always put God first. But that doesn’t mean that I become someone else’s doormat.
In Following of Christ, Thomas A Kempis says, “If any one, once or twice admonished, doth not comply, contend not with him; but leave it all to God, that His will may be done, who knoweth how to turn evil into good, and that He may be honored in all his servants.” This implies a situation in which it is necessary for one to reprimand another, but this situation does come up more often when dealing with others who have differences.
People will hear what they want to hear, and only they can decide when they are ready to let God into their heart. It is not my job to convert others, but to provide the best guidance I can with the help of Scripture. If they are unwilling to listen, then it is up to me to leave it to God.
Recognizing Your Own Burdens
Kempis goes onto say, “But now God hath thus ordered it, that we may learn to bear one another’s burdens; for no one is without a fault, no one but hath a burden; no one is sufficient for himself, no one is wise enough for himself: but we have to support one another, comfort one another, help, instruct and admonish one another.” It is with patience and compassion that we come to learn about the burdens others carry. It is with reflection, endurance, and humility that we learn to accept our own burdens. But as Kempis says, “no one is sufficient for himself,” which means that we need to turn to others.
I think the most important part of what Kempis says is the ability to support through admonishment. This is a particularly difficult thing to do in our current culture. We’re not supposed to question others, even in the pursuit of revelation or healing. We’re not supposed to tell others what’s right and wrong, even if Scripture makes it clear, even if it is clear to our moral conscience. Which means anymore, reverends and counselors alike cannot provide the guidance that they once did. How are we supposed to bear the weight of others’ burdens if they themselves will not bear its weight?
This leads to another point that Kempis brings up. We cannot rightfully expect others to bear their burdens if we do not bear our own burdens. It is as written in Matthew 7:4-5, “[4] Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? [5] Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.” We must tend to our own internal differences and bear their weight if we are to help anyone else do the same.
Closing Thoughts
“But the measure of each man’s virtue is best seen in occasions that are adverse.” Difficulty in dealing with others is necessary for deeper connection and understanding. Many know the unfairness that life offers, yet they are not broken by their burdens. When we choose to bear the weight of our burdens, we become an inspiration for others to do the same. Guidance is offered then by example of personal right-doing, rather than an instruction or litany of wrong-doings.
We all have a responsibility to guide, help, and support others and we do so by setting an example. We should not shy away from criticizing ourselves or others. Sometimes tough love is the best approach to a difficult situation but we do so with compassion and understanding. We would do well to understand that there is always room for deepening our connection with God and we do so by taking stock of ourselves and our neighbor.
It is very important now that we learn to really listen to each other. We all have faults and we all have burdens. Let us learn to lighten each other’s loads by learning how to bear our own weight.
“How true it is, O Lord, that contradictions are most advantageous to a Christion who endeavors to support them with patience and resignation! For they prove and purify his virtue and bring it to perfection. But Thou knowest what difficulty we experience in supporting these trials, and how sensible we are to everything that opposes our desires. Permit us not, O God, to yield to our feelings but grant that we may sacrifice them for the sake of pleasing Thee; since to feel much, and not to follow the bent of our feelings, to keep silence when the heart is moved, and to withhold ourselves when we are all but overcome, is the most essential practice, and the surest mark for that truly Christian virtue which is to gain for us eternal happiness. This, O Jesus, we hope to obtain from Thy infinite bounty. Amen.”
I hope you enjoyed this short sermon. I wanted to have something out for this upcoming Sunday, so I decided to keep it brief with just a few reflections from the Following of Christ.